“Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with F**k Her Hard and be done with it?”

“Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning…give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family. --Carter”

“He was smirking the smirkiest smirk of all smirks to date. I laughed, even that smirk was hard to ignore. F**k, maybe I should call him Mr Smirk.”

“She was speaking in tongues?""What da f**k else she gonna speak with?" Veda rolled her eyes. I saw no reason to explai, so I let her go on.”

“Never f*!k with the ineffable.”

“Stay away from Marcus. He's f**kin' bad news with a capital F**k.”