“Jewish vampires: Crosses & holy water won’t hurt me whatcha gonna try next?”

“Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart.”

“Jewish vampires: Starve me to death? Seriously? Then what?”

“The fact that these kits [vampire protection] were generally useless didn’t bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at Wal-Mart.”

“If you had watched any of those three wonderful films, you would have caught Vampire Gym Teacher # 2: Back to Cruel, where the vampire hunter ties a vampire chick to the shower and tortures her by turning on the water. They can‟t stand water, even if it‟s not holy water.”

“Give me a mirror.Or holy water. I'll drink it,even!" I gasped as someone threw water on the side of my face. "A little warning next time would be nice.”