“Jewish vampires: We turn into cats not bats bwaaahaha”
“Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats at will.Truth: Who would want to turn into a giant bat?Wait, don't answer that.”
“Everything you have ever read about vampires - most of it is inaccurate or downright false. We are not beautiful, we don't turn into bats, we don't shrivel up in the sunlight and we are most definitely not afraid of something as fickle as garlic.”
“Jewish vampires: blood can’t be kosher… can it?”
“Are you saying that your fat-ass cat has turned me into a vampire? Um, maybe?”
“Jewish vampires: Starve me to death? Seriously? Then what?”