“I wouldn’t wear tiny amounts of clothing in my real life, so I don’t think it’s necessary to wear that stuff in photo shoots.”

“I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.”

“It’s not what you wear that sets you apart from your fellow man, but what you don’t wear. I don’t wear pants, for instance, and while you’re pondering that, take a moment to gaze at my penis.”

“I wear clothing made out of green screen material, because then I can go chameleon when I edit the photo. And chameleon is better than commando.”

“My cup is empty. I don’t think I’m wearing it in the right spot.”

“Do I worry about overly retouched photos giving women unrealistic expectations and body image issues? I do. I think that we will soon see a rise in anorexia in women over seventy. Because only people over seventy are fooled by Photoshop. Only your great-aunt forwards you an image of Sarah Palin holding a rifle and wearing an American-flag bikini and thinks it’s real. Only your uncle Vic sends a photo of Barack Obama wearing a hammer and sickle T-shirt and has to have it explained to him that somebody faked that with the computer.”