“The Library of Alexandria?" I ask. "Didn't that burn down?"Mrs Philipoulus scoffs. "Damn fool Hypatia. Athena tried to convince her to install a sprinkler system. But no-o-o, no one was going to tell the librarianatrix how to run her library.”

“I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria.”

“THOMASINA:But then the Egyptian noodle made carnal embrace with the enemy who burned the great library of Alexandria without so much as a fine for all that is overdue!”

“Today I asked Chloe to be my girlfriend,and she agreed. I sank my teeth into her neck and drank from her jugular in the library at lunchtime. She's agreed to join me as a vampire and she's moving in next week.April Fool!”

“…Because every ruler celebrated his conquests by setting torch to the nearest library. Did not Julius Caesar incinerate the scrolls in the great library at Alexandria during his campaign against the republicans in Africa? Or General Stilicho, leader of the Vandals, order the burning of the Sybillene prophecies in Rome?”

“I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed --and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.”