“I wish to God I had an answer for you right now. All I know is that…I’m not turning this car around. I’m going home with you…and we’ll see what happens from there.”

“You broke up with me, and I spend one night with one guy who turns out to be the reason I’m even here, in domestic BLISS with your grouchy ass, and you can’t spare an evening for dinner? You are a dick.”

“What? Do I look stupid? A molecule of chicken? Eat some fucking food please. Thank you." "You curse a lot." "Fuck you-I hardly curse at all.”

“I know this is like the worst possible time, but I really need to tell you that I love you. Okay? Because I do. And you don't have to say it back or anything, but that's how it is.”

“Got any mood music?”“If you press Play on the stereo you’re going to hear Miley Cyrus.”“I don’t know who that is.”“Count your blessings.”

“Okay, you got me. The screenwriter is a vampire. Now go to your own desk and call Mimi so she can call me and I can get my day started”

“You curse a lot.""Fuck you - I hardly curse at all.”