“Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything.”

“MarkBaynard: If you start hanging out over here, won't your Facebook Friends miss you?Abby_Donovan: Those people weren't my friends. If they had been, they wouldn't have sent me all those annoying quizzes.MarkBaynard: A true friend never asks you to feed their imaginary fish. Or fertilize their imaginary crops.Abby_Donovan: Although with a little coaxing, I might be persuaded to take home your imaginary kitten. So how is Twitter different from Facebook?MarkBaynard: Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything.”

“MarkBaynard: You know what they say- dying is easy; comedy is hard.”

“Since you're probably going to die, you might as well know- I love you nearly as much as I hate you."His eyes fluttured just once as he murmured, "Me too.”

“Perhaps the two of us simply got off on the wrong foot, my lord.You seem to have received the mistaken impression that I came to Fairchild Park to make your life moredifficult.”“The words ’a living hell’ have come to mind more than once since your arrival.”She blew out a gusty sigh. “Contrary to what you may believe, I took this position so I could bring moreease to your life.”“Just when were you planning to start?”

“You asked me once if I would still love you when your lips were puckered with age and your eyes werefaded. I can assure you that I will still love you when I have only the strength (and the scant teeth) left togum those puckered lips. I shall love you when your bones are sharp enough to pierce my fragile flesh. Ishall love you when the light in my own eyes fades for good and yours is the last sweet face I see.Because I am and ever shall be…”

“Wilbury, my dear,” Caroline said, “would you mind taking the children and keeping them occupied for a bit?” "Twould be the high point of my golden years, my lady,” he replied with frigid politeness. “The culmination of a lifelong dream I had nearly abandoned in favour of waiting peacefully for the Grim Reaper to come and relieve me of my earthly duties.”Immune to his sarcasm, Caroline beamed fondly at him. “Thank you, Wilbury. I thought that’s what you would say.”Shuffling toward the hearth, the butler muttered under his breath, “I just love children, you know. I simply dote upon the overindulged little darlings with their grasping little hands and their sticky little fingers that foul up every freshly polished surface in the house”. As he leaned toward the hearth, the twins paused in play to gape at him. Baring his pointed yellowing teeth in a grimace of a smile, he rasped, “Come now, lads. I’ll take you to the kitchen for some nice hot chocolate.”Eyes widening in terror, the two boys leapt to their feet and ran shrieking from the room. Wilbury straightened as much as his hunched back would allow, rolling his eyes.“Wilbuwy!” Eloisa crowed, scrambling from her mother’s lap and toddling across the room. Wrapping her arms around one of the butler’s scrawny legs, she looked up and batted her long eyelashes at him. “Me want cocoa!”With a long-suffering sigh, he scooped the plump child into his arms, every one of his ancient bones creaking in protest. She joyfully tugged at his misshapen ears as he carried her toward the door. His curdled expression never varied, but as he passed Portia he gave her a nearly imperceptible wink.”