“Because after my marriage fell apart I felt like an empty parking space, and James just pulled into it.”

“They're bored with their boring husbands who are workaholics like my dad. They're bored with their boring lives, sick of us kids and all this puberty and rebelling, so they pop pills all day long and shop and watch the soaps, and then when it all starts to fall apart they realize they just want to be happy again, so they go to rehab to clean up their act and then start fresh. Can you relate?”

“I don't care if he never becomes my boyfriend or my husband, i just want him to be legitimate.”

“I been saying it for years: church is full of sneaky men posing as honest souls, and they are perpetuators our here looking for women just like you, with giant holes in your hearts, and they can smell when you got a good job and when you lonely as hell.”

“I'm not trying to be a middle aged centerfold, I just want to look at myself naked and not be disgusted.”

“You've been killing me inside and I don't want to die like this.”

“Okay, so I lied about my age. Everybody does.”