“I want to push the fast-forward button until I get back to happy.”

“Back then I confused passions and orgasms with love. It look me years to realize the two weren't synonymous.”

“I don't care if he never becomes my boyfriend or my husband, i just want him to be legitimate.”

“I hope you meet somebody and get married and then they fucking disappoint you and you have to go through a divorce, and then maybe you'll get it.”

“You've been killing me inside and I don't want to die like this.”

“I'm not trying to be a middle aged centerfold, I just want to look at myself naked and not be disgusted.”

“happiness aint got no Ph.D. or no certain amount of zeroes behind it!”