“Wanna see how creepy I can be?"-Mr Teatime”

“Whut's the plan, Rob?" said one of them."OK lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right?"The best plans are the simplest ones ...”

“An' things ha' come to a pretty pass, ye ken, if people are going to leave stuff like that aroound where innocent people could accidentally smash the door doon and lever the bars aside and take the big chain off'f the cupboard and pick the lock and drink it!”

“But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.”

“Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.”

“You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.”

“Mr Dibbler can even sell sausages to people that have bought them off him before … And a man who could sell Mr Dibbler’s sausages twice could sell anything”