“I warned you that I’m having a difficult time being a gentleman. Should I assume you’re provoking me on purpose?”

“Why do you do that?” he whispered, after a few minutes.“Do what?”“Provoke me.”“I don’t…I…I’m not provoking you. I’m stating a fact.”“Nevertheless, it is extremely provocative. Every time I try to have a conversation with you like a normal person, you provoke me.”

“Sure. Although I should give you fair warning. I can’t promise to be so gentlemanly again should you get horny at five a.m. tomorrow morning.”

“People always ask me if I’m into sports, and I say, “Well, isn’t writing a sport? If you’re doing it right, and you have a deadline, you should be sweating.”

“Travis walked me to class, his grip tensing a few times when my feet slipped on the ice. “You should be more careful,” he teased.“I’m doing it on purpose. You’re such a sucker.”“If you want my arms around you, all you have to do is ask,” he said, pulling me into his chest.”

“I don’t have time to kill you, and you don’t have time to die, because I’m not into redundancy, and you’re already dead.”