“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good that he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”

“Remain independent of any source of income that will deprive you of your personal liberties.”

“There is no other human activity that depends so much on chance as love.”

“No matter how much he loves you, sometimes he'd just rather have an inch of rain than anything else in the world.”

“I've noticed this: when it's the first date, and you fuck, the guy hold you much better than he does the next few times. The first date, you're sort of the stand-in for whomever he loved last, before he fully realizes that you're not her, and so you get all this nice residue emotion. I felt cherished, tucked into his belly, like we'd known each other for years and I was his wonderful girl and we both slept great.”