“Gawaine and Gareth took turns with the fat ass, one of them whacking it while the other rode bareback.”

“I have to pause the video while I corral the dogs in the other room. They howl in protest, and I tell them they are harshing my mellow and Yogi Beef Jerky’s going to be pissed."Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer”

“Are you saying that your fat-ass cat has turned me into a vampire? Um, maybe?”

“Lace: "Are you saying that your fat-ass cat has turned me into a vampire?"Cal: "Um, maybe?”

“Hi,” Caitlyn said.“Hello.”“I’m Caitlyn.”Mathilde grinned. “The Wild West girl who rode bareback! Yes, I know. The whole school knows! Can you shoot a gun, too?”Caitlyn’s cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Urg,” she gurgled, “no.”

“As I stood, I took in a last breath of spring-scented air, listened to the birdsong, and then saw a member of wildlife the conservationists hadn't planned on reviving in this place. A perv in a white shirt and polyester pants. A standard hide-in-the-bushes-and-whack-it perv. Fat and balding, it was as appealing as watching a giant marshmallow go at it.”