“Here lies the girl whose only crutchWas loving one man just a little too muchIf you go before I doI'm gonna tell the gravedigger that he better dig two.”

“If you dig one ditch you better dig two cause the trap you set just may be for you”

“I guess I was better at loving then, too, and also better at being loved — the two go together.”

“I’ll get you and your little dog too?’ You say your girl can’t pay me back? Believe me when I say that that little gift’s just gonna keep right on giving.”

“Face it. There's not going to be a happy ending... at least not with this hero. So don't go mooning around thinking that your breakup is only the crisis before the big romantic scene, because I'm here to tell you that it's not. When you are dumped, you are dumped, and the guy isn't going to change his mind and realize that suddenly he loves you instead of that girl he's flirting with in lunchroom, now that he's free.”

“Daddy dear, I'm only fourAnd I'd rather not be more.Four's the nicest age to be,Two and two and one and three.What I love is two and two,Mother, Peter, Phil, and you.What you love is one and three,Mother, Peter, Phil, and me.Give your little girl a kissBecause she learned and told you this.”