“I had recently come into the possession of a Thesaurus. You would not believe how many words there are! When I opened that book, I was like, whoa! Word party!”

“I had to admit, I did look stunning for a caterpillar's pupal casing. Lucy and Laura would say I looked more "hAwWt and jUiCaYyY ;)" but I think that "stunning" was a much better word. I had recently come into the possession of a Thesaurus. You would not believe how many words there are! When I opened that book, I was like, whoa! Word party!”

“ You don't have to hide your natural inclination to boss me around. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Edwart. To the point of domination." "Okay, okay." He took a deep breath and pointed at me. "You," he said stiffly, the words flowing straight from some primordial, bossy wordbank. "Come to the place where you want to go, which, hopefully, is my car, where I will be, God willing.”

“All of a sudden, he began to laugh. Had I said something funny? Had he? How long had I been spacing out for, slowly growing conscious that my fate was in the hands of a group of college kids who'd kill me off just for a laugh. Little did they realize that I was organizing a revolt.”

“As soon as we were inside, Edwart's family rushed to greet me. What seemed like thirty people circled me, chattering away. "Oh my god, you smell good.""Good smell, good smell.""(she really does smell good.)""do you mind if I put my nose right on you? Right on your arm?""More smelly smelly please.""If I could destroy every part of my brain except the part that smelled your smell, I would do it. I would do it in a second.""Let's go, Belle," Edwart whispered and grabbed my hand. We pushed through the ravenous vampires nad out the front door."So that went well!" I said outside in the U-HAUL. I sniffed my hair. I did smell good."No, no, that wasn't my house," Edwart said, starting the truck. "I don't even know those people! Sometimes I get addresses confused.”

“I typed in a single word: Vampre. Google asked, 'Did you mean vampire?' I said, 'Yes.”

“I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply.”