“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire.”

“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire. Pretty much all my crushes have been one or the other. One guy, actually, was both big and a vampire, but he turned out to be gay.”

“So all this time you thought I was a vampire?' Edwart whispered furiously, pulling me a few inches to the left.'Sure,' I said, 'you know, the lion falls for the lamb...''What?''Sorry. It's easier for me if I explain things in animal terms.”

“All of a sudden, he began to laugh. Had I said something funny? Had he? How long had I been spacing out for, slowly growing conscious that my fate was in the hands of a group of college kids who'd kill me off just for a laugh. Little did they realize that I was organizing a revolt.”

“I balked. Another vampire? I guess it made sense; the states of the Pacific Northwest were known for their lenient monster laws.”

“Nice piano," I said. "Do you play?" "oh no, but Edwart does!" Eva Mullen said."A little," Edwart said sheepishly."Go ahead, play!" Eva said. She picked up the triangle that was lying on the piano and handed it to Edwart. He started banging on it. It sounded like construction work very early in the morning. "Whoops. I messed up. Let me start over," he said.He started banging again."Wait. Uh. I haven't practiced in a while. Let me start over."Edwart continued to bang the triangle. Eva closed her eyes and raised her arms, swaying rhythmically to Edwart's music. Edwart held the triangle up high, in what appeared to be a grand finish, but then he brought it down hard, hitting the top of the piano. He continued to bang the piano, putting the entire force of his slim body into each smash. The piano shook. The room vibrated. When he finished I subtly removed my hands from my ears. "I wrote that for you," Edwart murmured, drawing me close. "It's called Belle's Lullaby.”

“About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him -- which I assumed was wildly out of his control -- that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me.”