“I may look like a beer salesman, but I'm a poet.”
“I'm not a drug salesman. I'm a writer.""What makes you think a writer isn't a drug salesman?”
“I'm really very sorry, but it is not my fault. People are so annoying. All my pianists look exactly like poets, and all my poets look exactly like pianists”
“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”
“You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor.""But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer.""Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?”
“I take a deep breath and put on my best smile. You could sell ice to Eskimos, my dad always says, and looking at this crowd, I think I'm going to have to be quite the salesman.”