“Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.”

“There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn’t give a damn what goes on in between.”

“A musicologist is a man who can read music but can’t hear it. ”

“The sound of a harpsichord – two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm. ”

“Her singing reminds me of a cart coming downhill with the brake on. ”

“Try everything once, except folk dancing and incest.”

“I've been taking it easy on you, kid, can tell you're having fun. But it's all sensation to you so far. I haven't pushed you, taken you out of yourself, looked for that place inside where you give yourself to your top. Sometimes pleasure can take a bottom there, but more often it's pain that does.”