“Prominent Christians in Constantine's time waited to be baptized until their deathbeds lest they commit a "major"sin that couldn't be forgiven of those already baptized. Others felt anyone who did anything to avoid martyrdom were apostates had no valid subsequent ministry.”

“For better of for worse the church in the West bought modernity's claims. We were baptized in its story (even though it said it did not have one) and accepted its categories and definitions. But somewhere along the way we also began to believe that the ways in which we accessed knowledge about God or Jesus or the Spirit or Christianity were those things themselves.”

“Church Parking Only.Violaters will be baptized.”

“A perversion must be baptized and patronized (the Marquis De Sade and Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch were on to something).”

“Because we are more adult than actually mature, we tend to take our sins and baptize them, dressing them up as spiritual maturity.”

“The Baptist Church rejects man with wooden leg: It appears the Baptist preacher refused to baptize a veteran of the late war in the holy water- saying they only baptize flesh and blood, not wood.”