“All the tales of miracles, with which the Old and New Testament are filled, are fit only for impostors to preach and fools to believe.”

“[Mani] deleted as interpolations all texts in the New Testament that assumed either the order and goodness of matter or the inspiration and authority of the Old Testament. Otherwise he thought his expurgated New Testament a sound book.”

“You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.”

“May God deliver us from the one-sided Christian who reads only the New Testament and talks against the Old!”

“The old tale of Sleeping Beauty might end happily in French or English, but he was in Russia, and only a fool would want to live through the Russian version of any fairy tale.”

“When slow songs do play, people joke that you should be able to fit "the standard works" between you and your partner. The standard works is a Mormon term referring to all of the religious books we study. So when you're slow dancing, the Old Testament, New Testament, The Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price should be able to fit in the space between you and your dance partner -- or you're dancing too close.”