“There is much good we might do.”

“There aren’t many honest men or women in Washington anymore. Politicians get where they are by the sheer force of their egos, not their convictions. And you know what? It’s our fault as voters. We don’t demand better candidates, so we end up getting what we deserve—on both sides of the aisle.”

“Am going to cross Pacific on a wooden raft to support a theory that the South Sea islands were peopled from Peru. Will you come? I guarantee nothing but a free trip to Peru and the South Sea islands and back, but you will find good use for your technical abilities on the voyage. Reply at once.'Next day the following telegram arrived from Torstein:COMING. TORSTEIN.”

“...all members of Congress should be required wear NASCAR uniforms. You know, the kind with the patches? That way we'd know who is sponsoring each of them. I think he was kidding; they'd never be able to do it but it's a great idea and would wake people up in this country.”

“You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding.”

“Incredible brilliance often dwells on the razor's edge of madness...”

“If he's like any other man I've ever met, it's not my smile he's going to be looking at.”