“There was no etiquette guide in the universe that told you how to handle waking up in a house you'd fled from as a teenager with your estranged sister in one room accross the hall and your husband's pregnant teenage mistress in the other.”

“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

“The time between your first major fight with your best friend until you make up is, for a teenage girl, about as long as it took for God to create the universe. . . . It's excellent training for having a boyfriend.”

“I think he’s handling it with grace. A lot of teenage boys would sulk, or lurk around under your window with a boom box.”

“He broke up with me.""Because you weren't in love with him. That's an iffy proposition, and I think he's handling with grace. A lot of teenage boys would sulk, or lurk around under your window with a boom box.""No one has a boom box anymore. That was the eighties.”

“Boy: Do you know the answer to the universe. Hungry teenager: The answer to the universe is...Tacos!!!!”