“There’s a time in everyone’s life when I’m sure they wonder if fate is actually some dude watching from beyond, just waiting for the right moment to fuck with us.”

“Just so you know, everyone has regrets, but it's fucked up to be continually punished for them.”

“I was lying on my bed, contemplating Mason's death when Amy strolled into our cabin."Hey, what are you doing?""Wondering what would cause more damage, a paint-brush in the eye or a putty knife shoved up someone's nostril," I answered, scowling at the ceiling.”

“Maybe everything would have been different. Hindsight is a mocking bitch for sure.”

“I didn't want their tears. I didn't want them to think of me. I wanted nothing from them. That asshole Mitch Johnson saved my life today. What a prick.”

“This chick had a serious love affair going on with my hair. I wondered if I should offer to leave her alone with it. Seriously, if she started rubbing her face against it, I was out.”

“Religious people were big on saying "the tongue is a mighty weapon, so use it wisely," and then forsaking this claim when the music director slept with the minister's wife or when the youth minister did what he did.”