“Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.”

“Belong to a religion? Doesn't bother me if you do, as long as it's not one that says to stop thinking and be loud about it.”

“Yes, give us books about the psychotic behavior and peripheral weirdness we see all around every day -- and we will laugh in its face. We are a proud people.We are Floridians.”

“Do you think heaven's like that?Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we're not going to heaven? It could be full of them instead.”

“I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.”

“Serge bowed his own head and closed his eyes "God, please protect us from your followers. Amen”

“What do they mean 'serial killers'! said Serge. (person 1), okay. But (person 2) was self-defence and the (person 3)-I mean, that was the World Series! You can call me a murderer, fair is fair, but as soon as you put 'serial' in front of it, everyone automatically thinks your crazy.”