“Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father...' You don't talk to you friends like that. 'Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed' - he wouldn't be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, 'You keep saying Ed...my name's Joe!”

“Ed, "I hate deserts. There is nothing but sand *collapses* If there was some grass I could turn it into bread. I'm starving! Huh? Hey! Al' where'd you go? Al? Hey!"Al, "Down here! *Al's hand emerges from the sand beneath Ed and grabs Ed's leg*"Ed, "AHH!!"Al, "I sunk again. . ."(cut to later, after Ed dug Al out)Al, "I get full."Ed, "Full of what? *kicks Al and sand falls out of his chest plate and buries Ed*"Al, "Hahahaha. . .hahaha. . .haha. . . ha. . . *still laughing, inches away from Ed*"Ed, "*bursts out of sand and starts running after Al* Get back here!"Al, "What are you going to do?"Ed, "Nothing!"Al, "Than why are you chasing me?"Ed, "Stop and you'll find out!"Al, "I promise I won't get buried again!"Ed, "Not unless it's by me!"Al," Ed!"Ed, "Rrrrrrrrr!”

“L'universo intero era pazzo ed obliquo ed estremamente bizzarro.”

“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!”

“We gave you a perfectly good language and you f***ed up.”

“WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:In your case, ED is not a man's name.”

“Take it back, Ed. Take it all back.”