“One day someone will say to me: “Is it autobiographical?” And I shall reply: “Only the bit where I die.” To die has always been my sole ambition. Everything else is transitory." (opening line to 'Blood & Marriage')”

“I have to admit that I am in a bit of a predicament." (opening line to 'The Dance of the Pheasodile' where the guy is hanging naked from a helicopter outside his wife's 18th floor office in Central London)”

“I am on warp-speed headed directly for the sun; I am Icarus." (opening line of 'Girl on a Bar Stool', new / CreateSpace version)”

“My dad was a trawlerman, but only briefly – only briefly a trawlerman and only briefly my dad." (2nd para of 'Missio')”

“One of the great books of our time. I should know; I wrote it." (apocryphal)”

“Yeah, you’ve guessed it. I am an estate agent by day, a rebel with integrity by night." (Ch1 '(Just like) El Cid's Bloomers')”

“Two uniformed officers approached him at speed. Both were wearing Salvation Army badges and carrying some fearsomely bulky weapons labelled as ‘Googles’.One of them drew his Google and aimed it barrel-forward at my grandfather.”