“The uniformed man led him along a short corridor and turned right at an electronic display proclaiming “The new collection from Kelloggs” and portraying several variations of luminous crotchless panties. Grandfather frowned. “Can you eat those?” he asked the man, pointing at the display.The man grinned. “If you buy them, Sir, I am sure that you can do anything you want with them. Eat the panties, devour the contents …. This way, Sir.”

“Any day now?” Viktor prodded. “Sì, sì. Do not get your…” Niccolo paused to recall the exact phrase. “Get your balls in a bunch.” Viktor shook his head. “Panties.” Niccolo frowned. “Why would you wear panties? Aren’t those for females?” Viktor growled. “Can we go now?” “Yes, but I insist you tell me more about your man-panties later.”

“A young apprentice applied to a master carpenter for a job. The older man asked him, "Do you know your trade?" "Yes, sir!" the young man replied proudly. "Have you ever made a mistake?" the older man inquired. "No, sir!" the young man answered, feeling certain he would get the job. "Then there's no way I'm going to hire you," said the master carpenter, "because when you make one, you won't know how to fix it.”

“Why, in truth, sir," was Monte Cristo's reply, "man is but an ugly caterpillar for him who studies him through a solar microscope; but you said, I think, that I had nothing else to do. Now, really, let me ask, sir, have you? — do you believe you have anything to do? or to speak in plain terms, do you really think that what you do deserves being called anything?”

“Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”

“You talk very easily of hours, sir! How long do you suppose, sir, that an hour is to a man who is choking for want of air?”