“But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom.”

“Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.”

“Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”

“I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool.”

“The wildly drunk man from the cabin next door to ours is in front of me in the crowd. He's so drunk that he's standing in the women-and-children section. He complains loudly that this is boring and that we are a bunch of assholes. When a clearly terrified woman blurts out, "Please, sir, be quiet," he sways for a second and then lets out a long "Shuuuuut uuuuuuuup" that is funny not just because of its Jackie Gleason-style delivery but also because of its inappropriateness in a situation where we're all probably going to die.”

“No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.”

“Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.”