“You know who DOES have a funny bone in her body? Your Mom every night for a dollar!”

“Stories live in your blood and bones, follow the seasons and light candles on the darkest night-every storyteller knows she or he is also a teacher..”

“Those lips had curved into a knowing half smile that did funny things to her insides. And like a match tossed to gasoline, her body sparked alive and flames licked every inch of her.”

“College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?”

“On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.”

“Ellis: "What's so funny?"Skyla: You're funny," I say. "You look real scary. I bet your mom's proud, though." I don't know why I add that last bit, I just do.”