“If you don't listen to the question entirely, then you are going to revise your answers frequently.”

“I sit here very respectfully to listen to you. If what you want to do is put on a show and giggle every time I talk, well then I have no interest in answering your question. So if you'd like to conduct a respectful conversation, I'm happy to do it. If you don't, sit down and I'll answer the next question. What's your choice?”

“Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers.”

“If you are sad, ask yourself why you are sad. Then pick up the phone and call someone and tell him the answer to the question. If you don't know anyone, call the operator and tell him. Most people don't know that the operator has to listen, it is a law. Also, the postman is not allowed to go inside your house, but you can talk to him on public property for up to four minutes or until he wants to go, whichever comes first.”

“Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions.”

“I hate it when you answer a question with a question.""No you don't, you think it's charming.”