“A hard man is nice to find”

“Better to lose your husband than waste your life”

“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.”

“Q: What’s hard for you?A: Mostly I straddle reality and the imagination. My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket. My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane. Math is hard. Reading a map. Following orders. Carpentry. Electronics. Plumbing. Remembering things correctly. Straight lines. Sheet rock. Finding a safety pin. Patience with others. Ordering in Chinese. Stereo instructions in German.”

“Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes?" I asked.We are going to experiment, dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult. China," said Master Li, "is overstocked with deranged alchemists.”

“Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.”

“You know, Rose said, You're not the first man in history who thinks his cock is the path to wisdom. You're not the first man to make his hard-on into the Holy Grail.”