“I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.”

“Ann, I love you. I hope my car starts. I hope the sink isn't plugged up. I'm glad I didn't fuck a groupie. I'm glad I'm not very good at getting into bed with strange females. I'm glad I'm an idiot. I'm glad I don't know anything. I'm glad I haven't been murdered. When I look at my hands and they are still on my wrists, I think to myself, I am lucky.”

“It means I'm glad I killed him, I said, testing it. But this didn't mean anything.It didn't mean anything, I said, dubious.But this didn't mean anything, either.”

“I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around." — Emmett Cullen”

“I'm always saying 'Glad to've met you' to somebody I'm not at all glad I met.”

“I'm glad the choice is made for us. I'm glad I don't have to choose-but more than that, I'm glad I don't have to make someone else choose me.”