“In college I wrote trenchant, deep, profound epics. Then I grew up.”

“I tell you what I won't put up with. You chose how to behave.”

“Toronto's already ass-deep in cockroaches and conservatives; what's one more lower life-form?”

“Will you please translate your prices hereafter? I don't add too well in plain American, I haven't a prayer in ever mastering bilingual arithmetic.”

“But I am a knight of the Round Table," he protested, weakly. "I am a protector of the realm, a slayer of evil, I defeat all those who raise their swords in opposition to Arthur, King of all Britain." "Trust me, kid, women prefer a man who can cook.”

“The world tilted slightly sideways. 'I think I need to sit down.' The floor seemed like the best option. It was close and he'd already proved that he could hit it. His legs folded.”

“Trains aren't a problem.""You turn into mist?""No, I step out of the way.”