“I thought you killed that boy", he finally grumbled. "I did kill him", Rags said. "Dead as doughnuts. Buried him too, just like you told me." "And you sprinkled the grave site with jalapenos and lemon peel?" "Lemon peel?", Rags stuttered. "I don't remember anything about lemon peel!". Dennis was silent for quite some time. Rags glanced nervously about him, wishing he was anywhere but there. He realized he'd screwed up, but the whole thing was a mystery to him. He was extremely superstitious, but even his ignorance had its limits. 'Lemon peel?' He thought to himself, 'come on, that is just ridiculous'. Dennis might have read his mind, because he spoke up in a slightly louder tone to indicate his maximum rage. "Jalapeno to burn his soul, of course. Lemon peel to keep him in the ground!”
“Nothing to it", Dennis sighed. "Find him. Chop his head off. Stick him in the ground again, and this time don't forget the orange peel." "Lemon", Rags replied. "Orange", Dennis insisted. "It's only lemon the first go around. Second time orange. Third time lime." "Third time?", Rags said nervously. "Sometimes it doesn't take", Dennis said.”
“A dry martini,' he said. 'One. In a deep champagne goblet.' ...Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?”
“If You Have A Lemon, Make A LemonadeThat is what a great educator does. But the fool does the exact opposite. If he findsthat life has handed him a lemon, he gives up and says: "I'm beaten. It is fate. I haven'tgot a chance." Then he proceeds to rail against the world and indulge in an orgy of selfpity.But when the wise man is handed a lemon, he says: "What lesson can I learn fromthis misfortune? How can I improve my situation? How can I turn this lemon into alemonade?”
“He says I'm a regular onion! I keep him busy peeling away the layers.”
“You know.... I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade ..... GET MAD! MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? Demand to see life's manager, and make him rue the day that he gave you lemons. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I am the man who will burn your house down with lemons. I am going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, which I will use to BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!”