“There is no point in poverty if it does not make a rich man, observing it, feel better.”

“A dutiful wife enables a good man to add her hands to his own for self-applause.”

“Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain.”

“It takes a lot of wind to sail a leaky boat.”

“The past is an educational toy for the present. It should be discarded the moment its usefulness is outgrown.”

“The point of life was to press on, to do the best you can, to make the world a better place.”

“My faith is whatever makes me feel good about being alive. If your religion doesn't make you feel good to be alive, what the hell is the point of it?”