“Morels are ugly in the skillet. The caps look like the scrotums of leprechauns, the stems like the tusks of fetal elephants.”

“It had been reported that Tanuki fell from the sky using his scrotum as a parachute.”

“Of our nine planets, Saturn is the one that looks like fun.”

“What looks to be a wisp of cloud is actually the moon, narrow and pale like a paring snipped from a snowman's toenail.”

“There is, however, a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like part of the act.”

“Must look into the botanical background of substance known as hashish," I jotted in my journal, writing by the light of candles that grew incessantly jewel-like even as protean wafts of incense approached my snout like platters of ripe fruits borne on the back of Nubian pages.”

“Anarchy is like custard cooking over a flame; it has to be constantly stirred or it sticks and gets heavy, like government.”