“Because children grow up, we think a child's purpose is to grow up. But a child's purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn't disdain what lives only for a day. It pours the whole of itself into the each moment. We don't value the lily less for not being made of flint and built to last. Life's bounty is in its flow, later is too late. Where is the song when it's been sung? The dance when it's been danced? It's only we humans who want to own the future, too. We persuade ourselves that the universe is modestly employed in unfolding our destination. We note the haphazard chaos of history by the day, by the hour, but there is something wrong with the picture. Where is the unity, the meaning, of nature's highest creation? Surely those millions of little streams of accident and wilfulness have their correction in the vast underground river which, without a doubt, is carrying us to the place where we're expected! But there is no such place, that's why it's called utopia. The death of a child has no more meaning than the death of armies, of nations. Was the child happy while he lived? That is a proper question, the only question. If we can't arrange our own happiness, it's a conceit beyond vulgarity to arrange the happiness of those who come after us.”
This passage by Tom Stoppard challenges conventional perceptions of childhood, purpose, and the human desire to find ultimate meaning in life. It invites readers to reconsider the assumption that children exist simply to grow into adults, emphasizing instead the intrinsic value of experiencing life in the present moment.
Key Themes and Insights:
The Purpose of Childhood:
Stoppard asserts that a child's purpose is not to become an adult but to be a child. This counters the common societal belief that childhood is merely a preparatory phase for adulthood. The emphasis is on embracing the immediacy and innocence of childhood rather than seeing it as a means to an end.
Nature’s Embrace of Ephemerality:
The comparison to a lily that "lives only for a day" highlights nature’s acceptance and celebration of transient life. The lily’s brief existence is not less valuable because it does not last long; instead, its beauty lies in its fleeting presence. This metaphor serves as a reminder that worth is not tied to longevity but to the fullness of experience.
Critique of Human Control and Future Obsession:
Stoppard critiques humanity’s desire to "own the future," suggesting that we impose artificial meaning on life by assuming a predetermined destiny. This desire for control reflects a human conceit, ignoring the chaotic and unpredictable nature of existence.
Rejection of Utopian Ideals:
The passage dismisses the idea of a perfect destination or ultimate goal (“utopia”) toward which life is inevitably moving. Instead, life is depicted as a series of transient moments without a definitive endpoint, emphasizing presence rather than future planning.
Focus on Present Happiness:
In contemplating death, particularly of a child, Stoppard shifts the focus to whether the child was happy during life. This point underscores that quality of life—happiness and fulfillment in the moment—is the only meaningful measure, rather than any imposed cosmic significance.
Philosophical Humility:
The closing statement serves as a humbling reminder that seeking to control or dictate the happiness of future generations is presumptuous. True concern should be grounded in the happiness we can achieve in our own lives.
Stoppard’s reflection is a profound meditation on the human condition, urging an appreciation of the present and a skepticism toward grand narratives of destiny. The passage invites readers to find meaning not in abstract futures or historical patterns but in the lived experience—the "flow" of life itself. It is a call to humility, presence, and valuing life in its ephemeral beauty.
“It's where we're nearest to our humanness. Useless knowledge for its own sake. Useful knowledge is good, too, but it's for the faint-hearted, an elaboration of the real thing, which is only to shine some light, it doesn't matter where on what, it's the light itself, against the darkness, it's what's left of God's purpose when you take away God.”
“Sometimes an uncontrollable feeling of sadness grips us, he said. We recognize that the magic moment of the day has passed and that we’ve done nothing about it. Life begins to conceal its magic and its art.We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there. Blessed are the children, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.If we are not reborn – if we cannot learn to look at life with the innocence and the enthusiasm of childhood – it makes no sense to go on living.There are many ways to commit suicide. hose who try to kill the body violate God's law. Those who try to kill the soul also violate God's law, even though their crime is less visible to others.We have to pay attention to what the child in our heart tells us. We should not be embarrassed by this child. We must not allow this child to be scared because the child is alone and almost never heard.We must allow the child to take the reins of our lives. The child knows that each day is different from every other day.We have to allow it to feel loved again. We must please this child – even if this means that we act in ways we are not used to, in ways that may seem foolish to others.Remember that human wisdom is madness in the eyes of God. But if we listen to the child who lives in our soul, our eyes will grow bright. If we do not lose contact with that child, we will not lose contact with life.”
“Whatever became of the momentwhen one first knew about death? There must have been one, a moment, in childhood, when it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. It must have been shattering, stamped into one's memory. And yet I can't remember it. It never occurred to me at all. We must be born with an intuition of mortality. Before we know the word for it, before we know that there are words,out we come, bloodied and squalling...with the knowledge that for all the points of the compass, there's only one directionand time is its only measure.”
“The truth is, we value your company, for want of any other. We have been left so much to our own devices—after a while one welcomes the uncertainty of being left to other people's.”
“It makes me so happy. To be at the beginning again, knowing almost nothing.... A door like this has cracked open five or six times since we got up on our hind legs. It's the best possible time of being alive, when almost everything you thought you knew is wrong.”
“It felt like being a child again, though it was not. Being a child is like nothing. It's only being. Later, when we think about it, we make it into youth.”