“I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.”

“I'm glad I don't have a drinking problem,' I confided, 'because I don't think I'd ever be able to quit.”

“People assume because I'm a coffee expert I drink lots of coffee. I can't. It takes me half an hour to brew my perfect cup. Do the math. I simply don't have time to drink more.”

“He took a long drink, then grimaced. “I do not have a drinking problem,” he announced, his voice needlessly loud. “I have a Churchillian relationship with alcohol: I can crack jokes and govern England and do anything I want to do. Except not drink.”

“If anyone thinks that I amn't divineHe'll get no free drinks when I'm making the wineBut have to drink water and wish it were plainThat I make when the wine becomes water again.”

“One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.”