“It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.”
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.”
“I belong to the secret six. It's so secret I don't even know the other five.”
“spoon, jar, jar jar spoon”
“I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.”
“A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.”
“I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.”