“Whenever anyone tells me that history's boring, I bring up Napoleon's penis.”
“Whenever someone implies that history is boring, I bring up Napoleon's penis.”
“Please tell me you did not bring me out here so you could tell me a very boring story about your sister.”
“My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.”
“I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. Whenever anyone tells me 'I see' I think they're really saying 'Fuck you'.”
“ If you're not controversial you don't have anything to say. If you're not controversial you're boring. If you're bored you're boring to be with so don't ever tell anyone you re bored. ”