“If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.”

“The moon will never lie to anyone. Be like the moon. No one hates the moon or wants to kill it. The moon does not take antidepressants and never gets sent to prison. The moon never shot a guy in the face and ran away. The moon has been around a long time and has never tried to rip anyone off. The moon does not care who you want to touch or what color you are. The moon treats everyone the same. The moon never tries to get in on the guest list or use your name to impress others. Be like the moon. When others insult or belittle in an attempt to elevate themselves, the moon sits passively and watches, never lowering itself to anything that weak. The moon is beautiful and bright. It needs no makeup to look beautiful. The moon never shoves clouds out of its way so it can be seen. The moon needs not fame or money to be powerful. The moon never asks you to go to war to defend it. Be like the moon.”

“Go take a flying fuck at the moon.”

“Fuck, this is gonna piss you off and then you aren’t gonna let me stick my dick in you,” he muttered. “Do you have to be so crude?” I snapped.“Have you met me?”

“Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I am the first man to piss his pants on the moon.”

“I believe that the only way that the human race is gonna survive is to start colonizing space and setting up colonies on the moon, and then space stations.”