“To me, it is better to "guess" at how something works, experiment, fail, guess again, fail, and keep repeating that process over and over again until you either figure it out or you discover a multiplicity of other cool tricks along the way.”

“When something upsets you in life, you only have two choices: Get over it or die mad.”

“[John] Kobak explained, 'The way you learn anything is that something fails, and you figure out how not to have it fail again.”

“I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the markWhen he made Pearl Harbor. I miss you more than that movie missed the pointAnd that's an awful lot, girl. And now, now you've gone awayAnd all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you.I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting schoolHe was terrible in that film. I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger partHe's way better than Ben Affleck. And now, all I can think about is your smileand that shitty movie, too. Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? I guess Pearl Harbor suckedjust a little bit more than I miss you.”

“All great programmers learn the same way. They poke the box. They code something and see what the computer does. They change it and see what the computer does. They repeat the process again and again until they figure out how the box works.”

“Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.Kim Jong Il: Or else what?Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.”

“Kyle, every boy pays for kisses. Do you know what I am saying? If you've got a girl, and she kisses you, sooner or later you're paying for it. You've gotta take her out to lunch, take her to a movie, and then spend time listenin' to all her stupid problems. Look, look at Stan right there. [Kyle turns to see Stan, who's listening to Wendy over at the merry-go-round] Why he's gotta sit there and listen to her stupid motherfuckin' problems 'cause she kisses him. If you ask me, that's a lot more than the five dollars my company charges.”