“What the hell am I doing...? Escape holding myself as a hostage...? I won't be able to make it like that...”

“I won't let myself be used or manipulated. I won't let myself be a hypocrite.I am foe me.I am not weak.For anyone.”

“I won't be able to think. I won't be able to work. Nothing will interfere with your work like suicide”

“I stopped in the middle of that building and I saw — the sky. I saw the things that I love in this world. The work and the food and time time to sit and smoke. And I looked at the pen and said to myself, what the hell am I grabbing this for? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? What am I doing in an office, making a contemptuous, begging fool of myself, when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am! Why can't I say that, Willy?”

“If I am judging then I am not loving. How can I love if I judge? I won't be able to love if all I do is judge. So that means LESS judging and MORE loving.”

“I am afraid. I am not solid, but hollow. I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralyzed cavern, a pit of hell, a mimicking nothingness. I never thought, I never wrote, I never suffered. I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb. I do not know who I am, where I am going - and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions.”