“She is trying to convince me that she never does this and is not that type of girl. It was difficult for me to understand. Her enunciation wasn’t very good with my dick in her mouth.”

“Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.”

“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”

“I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off.”

“His first question shows how well he knows me: TheRoommate: "Did you take any money out of her purse?”

“Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.”

“8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT'S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT'S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER!”