“Scary isn't even in the same fucking universe as what I'm feeling right now, dude." Ball-crawling heebie-jeebies might come close.”

“Scary isn't een in the same fucking universe as what I'm feeling right now, dude." Ball-crawling heebie-jeebies might come close.”

“This isn’t exactly a conversation two guys have over coffee. ‘Hey, dude, how well does your wife shave your balls?”

“A Third's okay for a fuck, but not for a family. This isn't goddamned Big Love, Florida Fag Edition.”

“She's getting pushy and borderline bratty. We need to have a talk with her about that.""Huh?""That's almost topping from the bottom."Seth closed his eyes and quietly swore. "I have no idea what the fuck you just said.”

“Can't I just shoot you in the ass with paintball pellets? Those fuckers hurt. I'm an expert marksman with firearms. I could turn your ass red, green, blue, whatever the fuck color you want.”

“You have no right to run me out of here!""Yes, I do, because it's my house. I live here now."He could have dropped his pants and taken a shit on the coffee table and it wouldn't have shocked her as much as that revelation."What?”