“In a society... so madly in love with oxymoron's... ask yourself this... ...when was the last time you ever bought anything for free?”

“They (penguins) then fall madly in love and live happily ever after.-And so you ask yourself: "If a penguin can have a worthwhile, stimulating relationship, why the hell can't I?"-Or maybe you ask yourself: "Would I be happier if I started dating a penguin”

“Kenny, when's the last time you had a physical," Roddy asks."What're you...the designated driver of my life?""Mad Dog House”

“It's so much easier to convince yourself you're madly in love with someone when you know nothing about him.”

“Do you think it's funny to be so serious when I'm not even out of high school?' she asked.'I don't see how it could be any other way,' said Lee. 'Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth, and laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death, and sometimes it isn't in time.”

“Mind, I am not preaching anything contrary to accepted morality. I am not advocating free love in this or any other case. Society must go on, I suppose, and society can only exist if the normal, if the virtuous, and the slightly deceitful flourish, and if the passionate, the headstrong, and the too-truthful are condemned to suicide and madness.”