“I’m at architecture school at UCLA.”“Ooooh, I love architects. They have such big buildings.”Oh Lord, let the floor open up and suck me into the ground. Better yet, take Will.“Uh, not all of them are big. Some are quite small. It all depends on the client,” Juan says.“I’m sure yours are very, very big.”“Yeah, well, I’m still in school, so I’m not really building much other than models at the moment.” Poor Juan looks hideously uncomfortable.“I bet you’re really good with your hands, all that drawing and building.”

“If you keep acting like a big baby, I will shoot you. I’ve never known a man so in love with his hair before. “ “I’m in love with all of me. I’m a very lovable pervert.” “Well, you’re going to be a very sexy pervert when I’m done with you. Now hold still.”

“It just hangs there. This little... flap of flesh. And there's so much fuss that we make about it. I think the reason we fight wars is because we wear clothes. Because no one knows–between the men, I mean–who has the bigger... weenie. So. if I’m a guy with a small one, I’m going to build a really big building or take over a really big piece of land or write a really long book so the other men don’t know, right? But see, it never really works, that's the problem. I mean, you conquer the country, or whatever, but you’re still wearing clothes, so there’s no way to prove absolutely whose is bigger or smaller. And that’s what we call a civilized society. The whole world run by a bunch of men with pricks the size of pins.”

“The best way to get kids to read a book is to say: 'This book is not appropriate for your age, and it has all sorts of horrible things in it like sex and death and some really big and complicated ideas, and you’re better off not touching it until you’re all grown up. I’m going to put it on this shelf and leave the room for a while. Don’t open it.”

“Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)No. I’m pissing on your rug. What do you think I’m doing? (Zarek)I’m blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you’re kidding. (Astrid)”

“I used to build things, maintain them and what-not. Sometimes, we’d take things apart completely just to get a good look at the thing on the inside. Then, put it all back together...Now, I’m lucky if I can build a complete sentence.”