“Never forget that it is we New Yorkers and New Englanders who have the monopoly of whatever oxygen there is in the American continent.”

“No man should ever publish a book until he has first read it to a woman.”

“The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers, and New Englanders are no more. I Am Not A Virginian, But An American!”

“I took the T from Logan airport to Harvard Square. I hate driving in Boston. It's the traffic that drives me spare, and the absolutely terrible manners of the motorists. Other New Englanders refer to Massachusetts drivers as "Massholes.”

“The book of war, the one we've been writing since one ape slapped another, was completely useless in this situation. We had to write a new one from scratch.”

“Being In love with Vampires is never out of fashion" (The Angel Vampire: A New Race is Born)”

“If there is one class of person I have never quite trusted, it is a man who knows no doubt.”