“He smiles in my memory. A curled lip. Straight teeth. Light in his eyes. Laughing, teasing, more alive in memory than I m in reality. It was him or me. I chose me. But I feel dead too.”

“It was him or me. I chose me. But I feel dead too.”

“With his finger curled under his lip, his elbow on the arm of the couch, he merely studied me as I recounted the memories, and now he was eager for the tale to go on.”

“I started picturing Rens smiling face, the warmth of his touch, the slight curl of his lip before he kissed me. Every happy memory came rushing back through the blackness illuminating it in brilliant color.”

“No, I chastised myself. I should be happy for him. I’d let him go. I’d turned down his request to be with me, so now I had no room to judge who he chose to be with. I needed to be happy for him, but I wasn’t. Knowing he was laughing and smiling with someone else, that he was flirting and teasing someone who wasn’t me ignited a feeling inside me that I’d fought so hard to bury. Suddenly, I was drawn to him like I hadn’t been in years, and I couldn’t ignore it.”

“Al, close your eyes.” He swallows. His eyes look excited and terrified at the same time.He closes his own and leans towards me, his hands on the blanket, supporting the weight of his upper body. I lean in too until I can feel his breath on my lips. My hands are now joined in my lap. My eyes are still open. I want the memory of this moment burned in my mind forever.”