“I think about pressing myself against him, but I can't, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.”

“His fingers leave streaks of cold on my skin, invisible to the eye, and I think about wrapping his shirt around my fist and pulling him in to kiss me; I think about pressing myself against him, but I can't, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.”

“I press into the distance between us until it is gone, crushing the secrets we have kept and the suspicions we have harbored -- for good, I hope.”

“I don’t want to say this,” he says, “but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?”His straight eyebrows are drawn low over his eyes. My stomach writhes, partly because I know he makes a good point but I don’t want to admit it, and partly because I want something I don’t know how to express; I want to press against the space between us until it disappears.I nod.“But please, when you see an opportunity…” He presses his hand to my cheek, cold and strong, and tilts my head up so I have to look at him. His eyes glint. They look almost predatory. “Ruin them.”

“He holds my face in both hands and kisses me back. I press into the distance between us until it is gone, crushing the secrets we have kept and the suspicions we have harbored-for good, I hope.”

“I can't tell him I need him. I can't need him, period -- or really, we can't need each other, because who knows how long either of us will last in this war?”

“I feel myself acting like a lunatic, but I can't stop. It would be like refusing to breathe.”